and I’m sorry

for all the years

i held my hand over your mouth

suffocating

all of the ways

you might sing.

afraid

of all the words

all the being

that begged

pleaded

longed

and i’m sorry for all of the ways

i did not understand

that a flower is never a flower at all.

that petals become dust

become particles; perpetual

indefinite

wherewithal

And I’m sorry for all of the ways I did not accept

that fate is a current
not a coin
that chaos is creative

inertia

cataclysmic intention

sacred entanglement

tragic;

divine.

i didn’t then—but i know now:

that atoms never still;

never silenced

have a will

a sorcery

a versing

bent only by the will of the infinite;